How to be Human

Background

“How to Be Human: An Autistic Man’s Guide to Life” was published in April of 2021 and is the autobiographical account of Jory Fleming, a high functioning person with autism who won a Rhodes Scholarship for the University of Oxford. A writer (Lyric Winik) did a series of interviews with Jory and strung them into the narrative that became this book. The book attempts to explain how Jory thinks and his perspective on life.

How to be Human
How to be Human

My Thoughts

Though I found the material interesting, I don’t believe it is relatable to other people with autism. To paraphrase Jory, “this is just how I think” and “I find it harder to relate to other people with autism.” My hat is off to Jory for what he has been able to achieve. Or more specifically, my hat is off to Jory’s mom who has given him daily support for his entire life.

Honestly, I’m bothered by some aspects of the popular notion of autism. There seem to be many people who romanticize autism and seem to see it as a net benefit. (E.g. Someone might claim a person with autism has an above-average IQ. These people evidently don’t know what autism is or how IQ is measured.) While these people aren’t actually diagnosed with any disorder, they are more than happy to claim the benefits as they see them. The usual humble brag is something akin to “I have Asperger’s.” This is usually an excuse for being socially awkward and/or a poor attempt to claim superior skills in analytical tasks. However, I’m not sure most of these people have been confronted by someone who has severe autism. Someone who is incapable of communication and truly does not “see” the world around them. Just like Jory’s mom, there are unsung heroes who devote their lives to making the world a better place for these people.

In short, all of us think differently. Autism is a spectrum which means there comes a point when the spectrum bumps up against the “normal.” Of course, that leads to another question, “What is normal?” Answer? “Normal” is just another bell curve of behaviors. The line between “normal” and “autistic and even “sane” and “insane” is uncomfortable thin. It all comes down to definitions and those definitions are always in flux.

So… I believe there is likely a little autism in all of us and we are all just a little off. That doesn’t give us super rain-man mental powers and most of us are able to negotiate society. We all feel awkward at times and some of us are insensitive jerks. It’s how we play the hand we are given which makes the difference. If it was all you could do not to kill someone on the way to work then I say, “good for you!” (However, if that’s how close you are to the line, expect the rest of us to lock you up somewhere safe in the near future.) The rest of us will continue doing what we can to do our best, day by day and sometimes hour by hour.

Recommendation

I’d skip this one.