Psychology

Background

Published in September 2024, “Maybe Everything Is Okay: A Parent’s Guide to Less Stress and Worry” by Allison Carmen introduces the “Maybe mindset,” a perspective designed to help parents manage the uncertainties of raising children. Building upon her previous work, “The Gift of Maybe,” Carmen offers strategies to reduce stress and embrace the unknown as a space filled with possibilities. This guide encourages parents to adopt a flexible approach, aiming to foster resilience and hope in both themselves and their children.

My Thoughts

The idea of framing everything with the word “maybe” is a decently sound method to minimize fear of the unknown. It aims to allow the mind to accept even a “bad” circumstance can end well. However, this is a hard sell to someone who is stuck in the victim or control mindset. It also didn’t speak much to creating other possibilities. However, I agree it is beneficial to keep an open mind to positive outcomes rather than stay mired in disappointment. If “maybe” get’s you there then I’m happy for you. Still, don’t forget that most emotions have their uses. Anger and disappointment have been very useful to me in terms of motivation to action and I’ve done some of my best work while emotionally upset.

When it comes to parenting, sometimes the best thing a kid needs to hear is, “no”. Ask any kid what it really means when their mom replies to a request with “maybe”. Maybe is not a word I would have gone with for this concept though it is descriptive. Perhaps, not necessarily, you never know, in shāʾ Allāh, or a host of others may have been a better fit. Maybe…

Recommendation

Not a bad read and some good reminders.

Background

Published on January 16, 2024, “The 5 Resets: Rewire Your Brain and Body for Less Stress and More Resilience” by Dr. Aditi Nerurkar presents five actionable mindset shifts designed to help readers manage stress and prevent burnout. Dr. Nerurkar reframes stress as a natural biological response that, when properly managed, can enhance well-being. The book introduces the following five resets:​

1. Get Clear on What Matters Most​
2. Find Quiet in a Noisy World​
3. Sync Your Brain and Your Body​
4. Come Up for Air​
5. Bring Your Best Self Forward​

Each reset is accompanied by three science-backed techniques, offering readers practical tools to recalibrate their relationship with stress and enhance resilience.

My Thoughts

This book was a good compilation of ideas and techniques to reframe, reset, rethink, and just make life a little easier. There were multiple times during my reading where I stopped and thought, “I should do that.” Fortunately, there were some that I have done and even some I’m still doing.

I find it is worth the time and effort to read one of these books every now and again. The motivation fades over time and it is easy to fall back into the same patterns.

Recommendation

Slow start but a good read.

Background

Published in 2022, “Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy” by Whitney Goodman examines the societal pressure to maintain constant positivity, even during challenging times. The book delves into how dismissing negative emotions in favor of a perpetually cheerful outlook can hinder genuine emotional processing and personal growth. Goodman provides insights into recognizing and addressing toxic positivity, advocating for a more balanced approach to emotional well-being that acknowledges the full spectrum of human experiences.

My Thoughts

For the most part, Goodman’s book was in line with my preconceived notions of a healthy individual. Putting a happy face on everything is not the answer. You can’t “manifest” good health, money, skill, or a better partner with positive affirmations. I also appreciated Goodman’s seemingly heretical idea that you don’t need to live in a state of pure bliss all the time (perhaps skipping through fields while holding hands and singing isn’t sustainable in the long term). I really enjoyed her grounded approach to life and her attempt to manage expectations. I feel many people are chasing the wrong ideal and that leads to disappointment if not outright tragedy.

However, I struggled with the author’s need to fully distance herself from the experiences of people with different perspectives. While validating another person’s unique experiences is essential to their acceptance of your validation, the principle cuts both ways. If no one can fully understand another person’s experience, then they can’t claim to understand the experience of any other person. Thus, when Goodman says she can’t understand the experience of a Black person or struggling with gender issues, she is inconsistent to assume understanding of groups she belongs to, such as all women, mothers, or wives. As a practicing counselor, she likely has valuable insights into the diverse groups she works with daily, regardless of her inclusion into their groups. Of course, I can certainly understand the practical challenges of writing books that address sensitive diverse audiences (myself included).

Recommendation

A solid read with many good ideas.

Background

Published in 2004, “Healing Anxiety and Depression” authored by Dr. Daniel G. Amen and Dr. Lisa C. Routh, explores the neurological underpinnings of anxiety and depression through brain SPECT imaging. The authors identify seven distinct types of these disorders, each associated with specific brain patterns. They provide tailored treatment plans for each type, incorporating medication, diet, supplements, exercise, and therapeutic support. The book also includes a self-diagnostic test to help readers determine their specific type, aiming to offer a comprehensive approach to managing and overcoming anxiety and depression.

My Thoughts

While it is now a dated resource, I enjoyed several of the ideas put forth in the text. First is the idea that it is helpful to see what the brain is doing before a round of medication is attempted. The authors liken this to trying to figure out why a car won’t start without looking under the hood. I like this idea for a number of reasons.

First, it makes sense. It is my personal belief that most psychotropic medications are prescribed without a clear understanding of the underlying problem. Therefore, they are given with the expectation that they will need to be adjusted based on changes in the patient’s symptoms. However, dialing in a medication can take several years, if the patient hangs on that long.

Second, if there is no understanding of the underlying problem, it is unclear which medication to try. While the doctor and patient are trying to find the right dosage, the medication itself might be going in the wrong direction. (For example, if you want to decrease activity in the basal ganglia, then you shouldn’t prescribe a stimulant.)

Third, there may be a structural issue in the brain causing the problem, such as the cyst in the temporal lobe given as an example in the book. This would not be impacted by medication, no matter the dosage.

I am interested in learning more about the costs involved with SPECT scans and where they fall in the spectrum of care today. I appreciated that the book discussed diet and exercise as important to a person’s mental health.

Recommendation

This book is fairly specialized and assumes a certain level understanding of chemistry and psychology. The first part of the book was mostly medications and their side effects. It was fairly dense reading and was harder to push through. If you have interest and a high school education, you should be able to make it through.