Self Help – Page 9 – Ryan’s Book Blog

F Love

May 28, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Published in 2017, “Fck Love: One Shrink’s Sensible Advice for Finding a Lasting Relationship” is an exploration of romantic relationships, written by psychiatrist Dr. Michael I. Bennett and his daughter, comedy writer Sarah Bennett. The book challenges the fairy-tale narratives and unrealistic expectations fostered by popular culture, advocating instead for a more pragmatic approach to love. With sharp wit and candid insights, the Bennetts argue that finding a partner isn’t about soulmates, grand romantic gestures, or waiting for love to conquer all. Instead, they emphasize the importance of looking for realistic, compatible qualities in a partner, such as emotional maturity, responsibility, and genuine respect—qualities that lay the groundwork for a healthy, lasting relationship. “Fck Love” is less an indictment of love itself and more a call to arms for rational thinking and self-respect when navigating the often tumultuous waters of romance. This book details how to thoughtfully find a partner for life and not fall into the all too common traps of bad marriages.

My Thoughts

Mark Mason did such a good job on his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck that I had to read something else of his. So I checked this book out. Of course, this is not the work of Mark Mason…

It was a great book though and rather timely. My daughter started dating this dude and I was filled with the normal angst of father (who’s only daughter is dating for the first time). I enjoyed the back and forth banter of the Bennett’s and their method of getting a point across. This book was full of good advice. (Nearly, all of which I didn’t take in my first marriage, but hope I’ve learned my lesson.)

Recommendation

A great book for those who are dating or considering dating. A must have book for those who are considering marriage. However, I would suggest you buy the actual book. The lists and multiple choice sections where hard in the audio format.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

May 20, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Written in 2016, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” is a self-help book by author Mark Manson that encourages readers to embrace the inevitable struggles and challenges of life, and to focus on what truly matters to them. The book promotes the idea that we should be selective in what we care about, and that by letting go of the things that don’t truly matter, we can find more meaning and fulfillment in our lives. Manson also emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for our own lives and choices, and accepting that pain and adversity are an inevitable part of the human experience. The book uses humor, personal anecdotes, and profanity to convey its message, and has become a popular and controversial bestseller.

My Thoughts

I really liked this book. I enjoyed his humor and the overall message. I told people at; work, church, and my poor family about it again and again.

Recommendation

A great read

Rising Strong

May 18, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Rising Strong was published in 2015. To quote Dr. Brown’s website:

The physics of vulnerability is simple: If we are brave enough, often enough, we will fall. Rising Strong is a book about what it takes to get back up and how owning our stories of struggle gives us the power to write a daring new ending. Struggle can be our greatest call to courage and and the clearest path to a wholehearted life.
https://brenebrown.com/articles/2015/04/09/i-love-big-book-news-and-i-cannot-lie/

My Thoughts

I thought I would like this book a lot more than I did. The biggest reason was I had just read “Dare to Lead” and had already heard a number of her thoughts and anecdotes. They were just all a little too fresh so all I really heard was how irritating I find her. I can’t quite put my finger on why. She has really good messages and don’t have a lot against what she is saying. Maybe it’s just how she says it…

There is a certain amount of “truthiness” to a lot of what she is saying. That part I enjoy.

Whenever she talks about “the data” and how she researches and so on doesn’t feel right. Normally when a researcher talks about “the data” they are explicit in what data. Where did it come from? How was it gathered? How many participants were there and so on. My automatic BS flag gets thrown every time someone starts talking and doesn’t have much to back it up. That flag was thrown quite a few times in this book.

Recommendation

Still a good book. However, don’t read them one after the other. The reuse of the same stories seems to cheapen the message.

Dare to Lead

May 17, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Published in Oct of 2018, Dare to Lead is Brene Brown’s latest book. This one is centered toward leaders, whether they be in the boardroom or on the battlefield.

My Thoughts

This book really spoke to me. I still have a hard time listening to Mrs. Brown with her remarks of “listening to the data” and so on… Having been through a bit of education, I know that people lie with data (plural) all the time. Still, she makes a lot of salient points and has a really good message.

What I took from the reading was that I don’t have to be a prick at work. I can listen, be vulnerable, be open, and sometimes even be completely wrong as a leader. In simpler terms, I can be human. What matters most is that I don’t get too blinded by others or their titles. I should pay attention to everyone and their needs. I should be responsible with my charges and act with honesty and integrity. All the stuff we all knew but seem to keep forgetting.

Recommendation

A good read. It may even be a good reference when I lose perspective in the future.

Crazy is My Superpower

May 14, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

This is the autobiography of AJ Mendez Brooks who gained fame as a professional wrestler. She grew up poor and fighting both her own mental illness and that of her family.

My Thoughts

It was an interesting read. I heard of the book on one of the podcasts I listen to and she handled herself very well. All that said, I hadn’t ever heard of her before and know practically nothing about professional wrestling these days. I watched when I was a kid with my dad back in the 80s so I had some experience. However, that was a long long time ago.

Recommendation

It was a good read for inspiration. I would recommend it.

Braving the Wilderness

April 9, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Braving the Wilderness is the 2nd to latest book by Brené Brown which came out in Sep of 2017. It touches on the feelings of belonging and the stories we tell ourselves.

My Thoughts

I was glad of the reminder to keep my mouth shut when I have nothing good to say and of how rare a good friend is in our world. I also enjoyed her comments on the polarization of politics and how people react to “hot button” issues.

Although there is clear value in much of what the author is trying to get across, I found myself put off by the internalizing of seemingly every concept through the life of the author. I don’t feel it is needed or even wanted to empathize and find parity in your own life with every plight. Reading it felt sort of like talking to someone who is always one upping your story. You think they hear you but they are clearly put more value on their experiences rather than your own. It was hard to push through it.

Recommendation

Ms. Brown puts forth some very good concepts and I appreciate her work. If you enjoy her style of storytelling, you will likely enjoy this book.

Living and Loving After Betrayal

March 21, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

I book on how to trust again after you feel the knife sink between your shoulder blades.

My Thoughts

This book had a lot of really good ideas if you can follow it and put it into practice. Most of the book is to be read over a great deal of time as the reader starts to find forgiveness for both themselves and the one who betrayed them.

Recommendation

A great read but buy the physical book and go step by step.

Money Management Skills

March 12, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

The Money Management great courses series by Professor Michael Finke provides a comprehensive overview of personal finance and investing. With his engaging teaching style and real-world examples, Finke covers topics ranging from budgeting and debt management to stocks and bonds, retirement planning, and estate planning. The course is accessible to beginners, yet also provides valuable insights for more experienced investors. Finke’s emphasis on creating a personalized financial plan and his emphasis on the importance of considering risk and uncertainty in investment decisions are particularly valuable takeaways from the series.

My Thoughts

This course was so good, I listened to it 3 times. Everyone should know a little bit about personal finance and Professor Finke does a great job of making a difficult subject relatable.

Recommendation

It was very worth the time and effort I put into it.

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

February 15, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Marie Kondo shares her love of “tidying” and her life philosophy in this book published in 2015. At the time of this writing, it has sold over 1.5 million copies. She even has a show on Netflix where she helps others “tidy”.

My Thoughts

I had heard of Marie Kondo as a verb from my wife. (As in, “I just Marie Kondo-ed this closet.”) I believe she learned it from our friend Miranda… Anyway, I heard a podcast from the UK which called her “mad as a sack of rabbits” because Marie was advocating getting rid of books. Books! That hit me. I love books. I have a lot of them. Rather, I had a lot of them…

Yes, I drank the KoolAid on this one. In reading the book, I was gradually persuaded that keeping my “Natural Disasters” textbook from college, which I had never cracked afterward, yet it cost me than $100, wasn’t really the best idea. I drug that book, and boxes like it, over 2000 miles when I moved a decade ago! After reading this book, I just couldn’t figure out the why behind that decision.

My closet is clean, my clothes are folded in neat little squares, Goodwill got a major donation and I’m happy about all of it. Next, is my filing cabinet…

Recommendation

This book changed my mind on something. That doesn’t happen often. I would suggest reading it so you too can brag about how many bags of clothes you removed from your drawers.

Girl Wash Your Face

January 9, 2019 by Ryan Leave a Comment

Background

Girl Wash Your Face is a self help book from Rachel Hollis who does a variety of things from podcasting to seminars and a little bit of everything in between.

This book is aimed at women who want to better themselves by feeling more empowered by believing they are good enough.

My Thoughts

I listen to the Rise Together podcast and several women in my life are very familiar with Rachel Hollis. Many of the stories she tells in this book I had heard before. It reads a lot like she talks so it felt very familiar.

It is targeted toward women so I shouldn’t have felt bothered that she kept addressing the reader as “Girl!”. But it was a grating after a while. It is a lot like going to a yoga class and the instructor speaks to us all like we are all middle aged women.

Still, the message was good and I certainly respect where she is coming from. She certainly doesn’t have any issue sharing her feelings and what is on her mind. Yet, it felt like oversharing a couple of times. I don’t know, I like the Hollis couple and I will continue to listen to the podcast but, I didn’t get too much out of this book.

Recommendation

If you are a woman, you’ll likely like this book.