Self Help

We Can Do Hard Things: Answers to Life’s 20 Questions

Background

Published in May 2025, We Can Do Hard Things: Answers to Life’s 20 Questions is a collaborative work by Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle. Drawing from their personal experiences, including Glennon’s anorexia diagnosis, Amanda’s breast cancer, and the death of Abby’s brother, the authors explore twenty recurring questions that address aspects of human existence such as identity, purpose, relationships, and resilience. Through conversations with over 100 individuals, including public figures like Sara Bareilles, Brandi Carlile, and Ina Garten, the book compiles insights aimed at guiding readers through life’s challenges.

We Can Do Hard Things
We Can Do Hard Things

My Thoughts

This book was such a disappointment. Quite honestly, I couldn’t get through it. I kept trying to push through, but I just couldn’t make it. Hopefully, it redeems itself in the end, but I sincerely doubt it. I knew nothing about the book other than it was in the self-help section. I like to just pick up a book and read and occasionally that backfires. This experience was one of those times.

It took me a few weeks to put my finger on it, but the book appears to operate under the following assumptions:

  • Everyone was and continues to be a victim.
  • Everyone is living with “trauma”.
  • Everyone has permission to do anything they want.
  • Everyone else should honor, respect, and even applaud whatever it is you want.
  • Judgement and resentment only stem from others. Your opinions about everyone else isn’t judgement, it’s fact.

First, a quick pet peeve of mine. Trauma actually has a definition in the DSM-5-TR, “Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence.” (The word is thrown around so much in this book it lost the actual meaning. By context, most of what was defined as “trauma” barely rose to the level of irritation.) You pretending to be sick so “everyone else knew their roles” does not count as trauma. (A quote from the book.) Neither does feeling embarrassed, being uncomfortable, or not getting that pony you ever so wanted.

Second, we all have problems. Yet, here is a novel idea, perhaps you could attempt to solve those problems rather than looking around for someone to blame them on? We understand you are the center of your universe, but please, get over yourselves! Maybe develop some listening skills and gain some perspective. You may even thank your parents for not instantly giving into every demand that crosses your mind. Being able to choose integrity over convenience is called building character.

You also don’t get to do everything you want. Every choice has accountability connected to that choice. If a homicidal maniac decides that living according to their “authentic self” is to commit murder, that really isn’t ok. Even if they “sat with their feelings” and truly felt like that is who they are.

Finally, the rest of us really don’t have to put up with your issues. Back to the homicidal maniac, if they take someone’s life, they shouldn’t be surprised that some of us will eventually stop them from doing it. We may even inflict some “trauma” on that individual so they and others know it isn’t ok as well.

We all live in a society and there are rules and norms we all live with. If you break those rules, there will be repercussions. Some of us may not want to be around you anymore. This is no less judging than you complaining about our behavior.

Recommendation

Don’t waste your time. There was an occasional good idea but it was like finding a Dorito floating in pure sewage. As much as I love Doritos, but it just wasn’t worth it.

What I Wish I’d Known Before My Mission

Background

Published in 1996, What I Wish I’d Known Before My Mission by John Bytheway offers practical and spiritual insights for young members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are preparing to serve as missionaries. The book draws from Bytheway’s own mission experience and reflections, addressing common misconceptions, emotional hurdles, and day-to-day realities of missionary service. Topics include dealing with homesickness, adjusting to rigorous schedules, understanding companionship dynamics, and maintaining personal spiritual growth. The goal is to help prospective missionaries enter the field with more accurate expectations and better preparation for the challenges and rewards of mission life.

What I Wish I'd Known Before My Mission
What I Wish I’d Known Before My Mission

My Thoughts

As my son is preparing for his mission, I came across What I Wish I’d Known Before My Mission in our kitchen. Naturally curious, I picked it up and gave it a read. It was a quick and held my attention, though it clearly reflects the time period in which it was originally written. Ironically, this book came out when I was serving my own mission, so I was not familiar with John Bytheway or his work till years afterward.

While researching the book, I found that it has been republished several times. My impression is that the updates were likely made to refresh the language, as the original version speaks in a style familiar to teenagers of the mid-1990s. (I have had some experience with this vernacular.) I worry that some of the references are old enough that they may not resonate with the current target demographic.

Despite the dated references, the core principles and advice remain strong. I especially appreciated the appendix, which provides simple historical background and helpful answers to common questions that missionaries might be asked. It is a thoughtful addition to an already solid resource.

Recommendation

I enjoyed it. The content was filled with concepts and language that resonated with me, particularly as it was written for my demographic 30 years ago. It also addressed a subject that has been on my mind recently. That said, I had not read it in the nearly three decades since its publication and likely would not have done so now if not for the fact that my son is preparing to leave soon.

Do Pause: You are not a To Do List

Background

Published in 2022, Do Pause: You Are Not a To-Do List by Robert Poynton explores the idea of intentionally stepping back from constant productivity to create space for reflection, awareness, and creativity. Drawing on his experience teaching improvisational techniques at Oxford and working with businesses, Poynton encourages readers to think of pauses not as breaks in action but as integral, active components of life and work. He presents different types of pauses, such as taking a breath, observing, or stopping altogether, as practical tools for navigating complex or fast-moving environments. Rather than offering time management strategies, the book redefines time itself as something we can engage with differently by shifting attention and perspective.

Do Pause You are not a To Do List
Do Pause You are not a To Do List

My Thoughts

This was a good reminder to slow down and enjoy life. I once caught one of my team outside smelling the flowers. He was a chaotic person and I had to send him to anger management at one point, but it brought me joy to see him taking a minute and enjoying something.

I think we all can do with a little more stillness in life. Particularly, at this point in time.

Recommendation

Good quick read.

Published in April 2024, The Opposite of Depression: What My Work with Suicidal Patients Has Taught Me about Life, Hope, and How to Flourish

Background

Published in April 2024, The Opposite of Depression: What My Work with Suicidal Patients Has Taught Me about Life, Hope, and How to Flourish by David M. Carreon, MD, explores the journey from mental distress to well-being. Drawing from his clinical experience and Christian faith, Carreon discusses the limitations of solely alleviating depressive symptoms and emphasizes the importance of adopting habits that promote overall flourishing. The book is structured into three sections: Mind, Body, and Soul. Each offering practical steps and insights aimed at guiding individuals toward a more fulfilling life.

The Opposite of Depression
The Opposite of Depression

My Thoughts

I really enjoyed the book and the novelty of looking at what not to do to keep away from depression. I also enjoyed the Christian spin on the topic.

Recommendation

A good read. There weren’t any big epiphanies, but it was full of solid reminders.

We Who Wrestle with God

Background

Published in 2024, We Who Wrestle with God by Jordan B. Peterson explores the psychological, literary, and theological significance of the Book of Genesis, particularly its early chapters. Drawing on his background in psychology and mythology, Peterson examines the biblical stories of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah, and the Tower of Babel as archetypal narratives that shape human understanding of morality, identity, responsibility, and meaning. He interprets these ancient texts through a Jungian and existential lens, arguing that the struggle with God reflects humanity’s internal struggle to confront chaos, find order, and live truthfully. The book also revisits themes Peterson has addressed in his previous works, including individual transformation and the importance of tradition in modern life.

We Who Wrestle with God
We Who Wrestle with God

My Thoughts

I really enjoy Dr. Pererson’s writing. I believe he does an incredible job of linking ideas and examining things from the macro level, yet I find he can also be overly simplistic and generalize. This book uses the Old Testament as a source document, which is loaded with symbolism. Of course, any symbol can be interpreted in several ways. Dr. Peterson’s interpretation is a little too neat and tidy for me to fully accept at face value. However, any meaningful discussion would be impossible if we dived down every rabbit hole of nuance. It would just take far too long.

That said, I really enjoyed this book. So much so that I bought copies along with “12 Rules for Life” and “Beyond Order.” My son is working his way through the first book and it is making an impact.

Recommendation

Great book! These are very heavy concepts so spend some time thinking through some of the ideas.

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity

Background

Published in 2023, Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia, M.D., with Bill Gifford, presents a framework for living longer and healthier by shifting the focus from simply extending lifespan to improving “healthspan”—the years during which one is physically and cognitively capable. Drawing on his background in medicine and engineering, Attia critiques conventional approaches to treating chronic diseases like heart disease, cancer, and Alzheimer’s, arguing they are often reactive and too late to be effective. Instead, he proposes a proactive strategy called “Medicine 3.0,” emphasizing early intervention, personalized diagnostics, and lifestyle interventions such as nutrition, exercise, sleep, and emotional well-being. The book includes scientific explanations alongside Attia’s personal experiences to illustrate how individuals can take control of their long-term health outcomes.

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity

My Thoughts

Not much of this book came as revelatory. It goes into detail about health and wellness. All the concepts were pretty well accepted but it was enjoyable to have them all put together. It reminded me of the Monty Python quote, “Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

The book may quibble with the “avoid eating fat,” but the rest is pretty much spot on. Eating better makes you feel better, moving more makes you feel better, getting good sleep makes you feel better, and not hating life makes you feel better. Not surprisingly, feeling better means you will live longer and enjoy life more.

Recommendation

Great book

Food Rules an Eater’s Manual

Background

Published in 2009, Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual by Michael Pollan presents a set of straightforward guidelines aimed at helping people make better food choices in a modern environment filled with processed foods and conflicting dietary advice. Drawing on both traditional wisdom and contemporary nutrition science, Pollan organizes the book into three main principles: “Eat food,” “Mostly plants,” and “Not too much.” He distills these concepts into 64 concise rules, such as “Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food” and “Avoid food products containing ingredients that no ordinary human would keep in the pantry.” The book is designed to be easy to reference and implement, promoting mindful and intentional eating without complex restrictions or calorie counting.

Food Rules an Eater's Manual
Food Rules an Eater’s Manual

My Thoughts

A relatively quick and appropriate read on eating. Micheal Pollan has written several decent books on the subject, but this one is meant to be pithy and stick with the reader. It was personally inspiring and had me slowing down to enjoy my food. (At least for a while.)

Recommendation

A good read with some good reminders.

101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think

Background

Published in 2016, 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest is a collection of short essays that explore themes related to self-awareness, emotional intelligence, personal growth, and mental habits. Drawing on psychological insights and philosophical ideas, the essays encourage readers to examine their thought patterns, confront uncomfortable truths, and reframe how they approach challenges and relationships. The book compiles content originally written for various online platforms and is organized in a non-linear way, allowing readers to engage with the material in any order.

101 Essays that will Change the way You Think
101 Essays that will Change the way You Think

My Thoughts

This collection of essays varied in quality, but overall I enjoyed and agreed with the majority of what was said. I liked it so much that I listened to it twice.

Recommendation

Somewhat sporadic but worth the time.

Can I Say That?: How Unsafe Questions Lead Us to the Real Good

Background

Published in 2023, Can I Say That?: How Unsafe Questions Lead Us to the Real Good by Brenna Blain explores the role of doubt, difficult questions, and personal struggles in the context of Christian faith. Drawing from her own experiences with mental illness, same-sex attraction, and spiritual uncertainty, Blain encourages readers to bring their most challenging and uncomfortable questions into their relationship with God rather than hiding them. She emphasizes that faith does not require the absence of doubt but can coexist with it, suggesting that growth often comes through wrestling with what feels unsafe to ask.

Can I Say That
Can I Say That

My Thoughts

I really struggled with this book. Blain shares very raw and largely unfiltered thoughts about her life, which were very hard to relate to. I believe her intent was the exact opposite by trying to show her weaknesses to become approachable. However, she came off as entitled, ungrateful, and she just plain misses the point.

Much of what she says is good and works with my belief system. Christ does love us, and God is indeed good. However, Christ is not “madly in love with us,” nor is He “broken with us.” Perhaps the limitations of the English word “love” led to some confusion, but there were several points she didn’t quite get right. My main concern with her perspective is how she repeatedly blames God for her struggles. God isn’t a snowplow or helicopter parent whose role is to remove all hardship from our lives. This mortal experience is meant for learning and growth, which can’t happen if we are treated like spoiled children. We are commanded to love God with all our heart, might, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. Blain’s version of God is one who makes no demands, but I believe God loves us too much to expect so little from us.

She made a good attempt to pull it all together at the end, but it was only the last few paragraphs. I honestly hope she does a better job reaching people in her ministry.

Recommendation

Skip this one.

How to Let Things Go

Background

Published on November 12, 2024, How to Let Things Go: 99 Tips from a Zen Buddhist Monk to Relinquish Control and Free Yourself Up for What Matters by Shunmyo Masuno offers readers practical guidance on achieving a calmer, more focused life. Drawing from Zen Buddhist principles, the book presents 99 concise lessons that address modern challenges such as information overload and social media distractions. Masuno emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, embracing imperfection in relationships, and accepting that not everything is within our control. By adopting these practices, individuals can cultivate mental clarity and emotional well-being.

How to Let Things Go
How to Let Things Go

My Thoughts

This book was literally so good I had to go through it again. It was a short but highly applicable set of mantras and good ideas from someone who has thought about them for more than the usual 5-10 seconds. My favorites are “Be humble, be humble, be humble” and “stop with all the bragging”. There were a few that I can accept as good ideas, but I’m not quite ready to get rid of all my unused clothing. (Sometimes it gets cold and I need to match…)

Recommendation

Great read.