Background
Published in 2024, “Safe: A Memoir of Fatherhood, Foster Care, and the Risks We Take for Family” by Mark Daley is a candid and emotional journey through the U.S. foster care system. Daley and his husband, Jason, embark on a quest to become parents, navigating the often broken and bureaucratic world of foster care. Their experiences highlight the complexities and challenges of adopting children who have faced severe trauma and instability. Daley’s narrative also reflects on the broader issues within the foster care system, while providing a personal look at love, resilience, and the lengths people will go to create a family. The memoir serves as both a critique of the system and a hopeful story of the transformative power of parenthood.
My Thoughts
This book was hard to get through the beginning, as Daley centered largely on his own issues and early marriage. I imagined this served as the platform as to why they wanted to foster children, but it came across like overcompensation for coming out as gay or like he was trying to force acceptance or validation from the reader. For example, there were a number of very specific physical descriptions like kissing, “on the lips” which felt like the author desperately wanted the reader to know they are actually gay. It felt out of place and unnecessary given the topic at hand.
Thankfully, when the book starting getting better when it dealt with the issues of the children. The foster system has a lot of problems and this book highlighted a few of them. The book is anecdotal to their experience, yet it showed how easily children can be lost in the system. This was an issue of interest to me some time ago and more particularly for those who are aging out of the system. At age 18, the funding for this population dries up completely, making them high risk for crime, drugs, homelessness, and so on. I’m personally thankful for all those people who open their homes to those that need it.
Recommendation
I’d steer clear of this book. It puts a human face on the problem, but there are better books that do the same.